 Enoch and God Out of breath, he finally got to the fig tree, their meeting spot. He was terribly late. It had been an unusual, long, and challenging day for Enoch. His plow was severely damaged from the fallow ground that Jared, his father, asked him to cultivate. The work animals were acting up. He got stuck in the field without accomplishing much. He dragged his lead-heavy legs, still hurting from much exertion. Earlier, Enoch dreaded he wouldn’t make it to their appointment. It had been a commitment and a habit for hundreds of years that he can’t do without. Where else can Enoch release his burdens for the day? And, who else could reset his mind, body, and spirit so that he feels eager to face life? “I’ve been waiting for you,” the usual calming voice welcomed him. Enoch felt relieved to hear His voice. As Enoch started to explain what happened, the voice interrupted, “I know, I was there with you. But once the sun is positioned in its usual place, I long for our conversations. Come on, let’s walk.” Enoch’s weariness vanished with the warm breath he felt on his neck. Suddenly, incredible strength gripped him, and he was ready to walk with God for a million miles. “Thanks for being there when that lion attacked me. You truly are my protector,” Enoch uttered between breaths. “Of course, you know I never leave you nor forsake you. Your heart raced so fast you could have fainted. Fear is natural, but rest assured I’m with you always,” said the comforter. “I know, but I was stressed even before that lion showed up. I was so annoyed earlier when my father asked me to work on that field,” Enoch confessed. “Hmm… Tell me more,” the voice urged. The conversation got deeper. Enoch talked about his frustrations with his father, his child Methuselah, and his community. He showed God his blisters from the ruined plow and ranted about how his neighbor refused to help him fix it. Sandal straps that snapped, sunburn, joint pains, evil thoughts, hard labor, a broken spirit, and how their walk provides rest and respite – Enoch discussed it all with his Father. “I enjoy listening to you. I’ll never get tired of your venting,” the voice sounded like God was smiling. They took a detour somewhere so God could show Enoch some of His creation – brooks, hidden trails, and even took him to patches of wild grapes when Enoch felt famished. God was a great storyteller. He explained how lilies and eagles are providentially cared for and don’t fend for themselves. And He repeatedly told Enoch how He loves Him unconditionally. Enoch was captivated and was lost in time. After what seemed happy ever after, Enoch noticed a star setting to the west. It was almost dawn. He had walked with God for several hours. “It’s really late. I need to get back home to my family,” Enoch said. “Well, my home is closer to where we are right now. Why don’t you come home with me so we can continue our conversation?” asked God. Enoch walked steadily with God. And then, one day, he was simply gone: God took him. (Genesis 5:24 MSG) (This story is inspired by Dr. Jay Vernon McGee) My Walk With God I walk and talk with God on the treadmill. The outdoors is ideal –that is, if I had physical vision. But to walk outdoors using a cane requires attention, and I enjoy giving my undivided attention when conversing with God. So the treadmill is my best bet. Also, like most people, I, a blind person, close my eyes when I pray. Sitting or lying in bed praying conditions my mind to sleep. Needless to say, I can’t sleep while walking, so I pray on my treadmill. On a side note, this is why I warn my husband not to pray while driving if he'll eventually close his eyes. It would be the shortest way to heaven.
Whether my walk with God is long or short, it’s deep enough to impact my day.
When in deep conversation with God on the treadmill, my purple-colored room transforms into the open space of the heavens or the mountain ranges. We run, hike, fly, sit and rest together. When my treadmill was defective, I tried praying while walking around the house. Being blind and unaware of my natural environment while praying, I would lose my bearing. I accidentally bumped into walls and sharp edges so my forehead looked like one big piece of bubble wrap. Finally, my husband took pity and promised to get a treadmill that works for me. After much research, my techy son recommended the model suited for my needs. We bought the treadmill at a Black Friday deal. It turned out to be so much better than my old machine. I’m back to walking with God on the treadmill, a habit that has become a posture of life. Has your prayer life changed the way you live?  INSANE! That’s not the word for the weak. Though inadequate, “insane” merely describes the incredible creative power of the WORD. Imagine God speaking the entire universe into existence. In the pitch-black darkness, there was a booming voice that exploded, calling out every element. In the beginning, He might have declared, “LIGHT,” (my little mind assuming God didn’t care about sentence and grammar rules at that time). Lo and behold, there was light. Then He called the rest of the heavens and the Earth into order out of nothing. Mind-blowing! No narrative or film production could ever give justice to the ineffable creation scene. And what’s exciting is we can also speak order into our lives through a God-given word. We can speak a word into our lives because God first spoke. Since we’re formed in the image and likeness of God, we are His co-creators and co-laborers.
Skeptic? That makes you and me, until I witnessed its effectivity in my daughter’s life. Those who know Jem will instantly believe me. Last year, Jem received from God “positivity” as her word for 2021 and Philippians 4:8 as her verse. Why positivity? If Jem were around Albert Einstein in his time, Jem’s negativity would have broken his doggedness and perseverance, and we wouldn’t be enjoying his inventions today. A case in point, years ago, Jem had trouble moving on after a heartbreak. Her damaged sense of worth affected her confidence. Later, she got rejected for a job position she loved. Consecutive rejection hits knocked her down into the quagmire of despair. As her mother, I knew better not to break, but redirect my child’s strong will. Our continuing conversations may be likened to a world cruise with many disasters. Upon boarding, we’re both excited to get to a depression-free destination—at the shores of positivity. But tidal waves of painful memories, icebergs of doubts, flames of arguments washed out the beauty of new possibilities and open doors. After countless days, all-nighters and a million cups of tea, we circled back to our place of origin—depression and negativity. But In 2021, Jem meditated on things that are true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. (Philippians4:8 MSG). This was her GPS to positivity. The result? She became confident and journeyed from negative and inconsistent to positive and steadfast. Slowly, her teaching career burgeoned. She transformed from a fence-sitter to a decision-maker with her identity rooted in God. She didn’t slide into a negative slump, even after unpleasant job interviews or letters of rejection. Studying Japanese got her up every morning, and she made her bed every day (finally!). Bursting with creative ideas, Jem maintained a journaling streak that stretched to a third of a year. Entries included her goals, alternative plans, and new projects. Her vision to be a true gem of wisdom kept her motivated to sharpen the saw, as well as be spiritually and physically healthy. What can I say? She’s now ahead of me by several miles. She even inspired me to start this blog outreach. Need I say that I, too, have a word for 2022? It’s “build”, based on: 1 Corinthians 3:10 (NLT) Because of God’s grace to me, I have laid the foundation like an expert builder. Now others are building on it. But whoever is building on this foundation must be very careful. Let me explain. The disheartening events of 2021 brought me to an existential crisis. I came into 2022 weak and empty. Nonetheless, I am ready to receive from God, build on the foundation which is Jesus, and reach out to those who, like me, are weak. Today, several constructions are halted, projects paused and lives on hold. Initially, I thought it untimely to build during times of increasing uncertainty. But God had always been counter-cultural, and He gave His promise in the following verses. Isaiah 58:9-12 (NLT)
This same Word, which called the world into existence, actually dwelt as a human being among us. And now, that same Word, Jesus, lives in us if you allow Him to dwell in your heart. So inside of you is the Living Word that will recreate your life.
By the way, “logos” is closely related to the Greek word “lego,” which reminds me of my son’s favorite brand of building blocks as a child. I envision arranging and stacking the blocks God gives me into a wonderful creation. What do you think is God’s word for you in 2022?  “The unexamined life is not worth living.” -Socrates When I was a junior college student, I came across old high school friends who were going to the bar. Excited, I decided to join them. The problem was it was the night before my Statistics finals, and Math-related courses have always been my Waterloo. The result? I failed the exam, repeated the course, and lost my scholarship for the next year because I prioritized having fun instead of reviewing for my exam. Examinations are administered to test one’s knowledge of a subject. Passing an examination attests that one is ready for the higher class. The word stems from the Latin “examinare”, which means to weigh, ponder, or consider. Reviewing what we learned in an academic course is similar to reflecting on our lessons in the university of life. But, unlike the academic classroom where the professor administers an exam, an individual needs to be responsible for evaluating his life for the past twelve months. Every new year is higher, so we need to assess the past year to ensure we're ready. Look over the pages of your story. Identify your focus and priorities. Be grateful for the good and learn from the bad, but address unresolved issues, and so on, before you close the book for 2021.
This list turned me into a robot. Often, I declined my daughter’s request to chat over tea, my son’s offer for a joy ride, my husband’s invitation to watch a movie, or my dog’s plea to play. Still, at the end of a busy day, I’d be beaten down, empty, and a failure for not accomplishing all my tasks. My passive existence was disrupted while reading Haggai. He said, Now therefore, thus says the LORD of hosts: “Consider your ways!” Haggai 1:5 NKJV Ouch! How many years have I wasted allowing life to take over instead of thinking it over? When unreflective, you don't notice the black spot on the ladybug or the cloud formation in the sky. What’s worse, you overlook your hurting child, how you've veered away from your primary goals, and that your marriage is going downhill. There’s no beauty, joy, or meaning in your existence. If you don’t give thought to your ways, life will pass you by, leaving you empty-handed. There are many ways one can evaluate life, but we’ll look at the next verse in Haggai for now. It talks about things we’re doing that aren’t resulting in anything. You have sown much, and bring in little. You eat, but you don't have enough. You drink, but you aren't filled with drink. You clothe yourselves, but no one is warm, and he who earns wages earns wages to put them into a bag with holes in it.” Haggai 1:6 NKJV I guess everyone can relate to this. Even if we work 24/7, we cannot make enough or we want more. Sometimes unforeseen needs arise, Or worse, health problems. If finances are the top priority, Rousseau’s words are valid, “The money you have gives you freedom; the money you pursue enslaves you.” If we continue on the same path every day of every year, we’ll get the same results. There is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death. Proverbs 16:25 What path of life are you on? Where does it lead? If we give careful thought to our ways, we can change how to live our lives and our end. "Your life does not get better by chance; it gets better by change." (Jim Rohn) The next verse provides what we need to prioritize. “Go up to the mountains and bring wood and build the temple, that I may take pleasure in it and be glorified,” says the LORD. Haggai 1:8 At that time, the Israelites did not say that they would not build a temple at all. But, they said, "Not yet, not at the moment. That will come later after we’ve built our houses and planted our fields.” They did not say that they would never repent, reform or be actively involved in doing work for God’s Kingdom. They just said, “Not yet.” Hundreds of years later, our Lord Jesus said the same thing in Matthew 6:33, “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.” Our response today is often no different from that of the Jews. We say I gotta send my kid to college first. Or when I’ve paid off my house. Or after I finish my MBA. Or when I’ve saved up for retirement. Or now I’m too old. When God’s work is put off, so are His blessings.
Suppose we adopt the paradigm of the examined life; 2022 will be an opportunity to apply what we learned in 2021. How appropriate these lessons will be as we enter the third COVID year. We can be informed but not hopeless or fearful. While economies continue to crumble, natural disasters ravage, and rising crime rates keep us on alert, we have a safe hiding place in God. We can insulate our hearts from the invasions, intrusions, and distractions of this age. Our hearts will be set on the Sovereign God.
If you were a mentor to yourself, how would you draw an exam for your life in 2020? Have you ever thought about what your purpose in life is?  New Year’s resolutions are effective until I give in to my inclinations. Indulging in chocolates, stressing about things I can’t control, watching videos instead of reading, sleeping rather than praying, or buying those fashionable workout shoes—I can’t be resolute about changing my thought processes, habits, activities, or social circle unless I have a new heart. Fortunately, Jesus says, “Behold, I make all things new,”” so I looked to Him to transform my heart. Our conversation went something like this: I heard Jesus calling out to me, “Can we hang out and talk about what’s in your heart over coffee?” “Oh no,” I thought as resistance paralyzed me. Is he going to do a heart audit? Before answering, I took a mental inventory of what I was keeping in my heart. To do that, I had to push aside my stress from work to think straight. It’s been weighing me down since last November. I can’t sleep well thinking about it. Suddenly, an aggressive, prickly creature, the size of a kitten, leaped at me. “Ouch,” I screamed in pain. “Who are you?” I demanded. “I’m your anger from your sister’s nasty comment last Christmas gathering,” the creature growled. During the family reunion, my sister reminded me of how I was all about myself when we were teenagers, and I’ve taken it to heart. That creature had been feeding on my resentment and had grown. Then, jeering laughter broke my thoughts. Scared, I asked, “Who are you?” “Don’t you recognize me? We make fun of people’s flaws. Look at you. It’s so funny how Miss Courage turns into Miss Cowardice. Hahaha!” she sputtered in between uncontrollable laughter. Meanwhile, rodents of different sizes scurried around. They were Worry, Pride, Offense, White Lie, Technology Idol, Envy, Ungratefulness, Regret, If-only. Once again, I heard Jesus’ voice, “Would you instead figure out your concerns yourself? Or do you want to discuss them over coffee? Give me your heart. I long to fix it. Don’t let it be troubled nor be afraid.” Disrupted, I replied, “Yes Lord, tell me, why my heart? I can give you some of my time and a little money. I can even work for ministries.” Jesus explained, “Your heart is my tabernacle, or dwelling place, ever since you trusted me for your salvation. But your heart is divided, and you are still the boss of it. I long for you to love me with your whole heart, mind, and soul. A heart that treasures good things makes a good man.” “So my heart is evil and unfit for a Holy God?” I objected.  “Behold, I make all things new,” (Revelation 21:5 NKJV). “I can make your heart new if only you’ll let me,” Jesus assured me. Curious, I asked my Lord, “Why do you dwell in people’s hearts?” Jesus told the story. “God walked with Adam and Eve every day in the garden of Eden. But since man disobeyed God when he ate the fruit of the tree of good and evil, sin separated man from God. Since then, God had been longing to fellowship with man again. He expressed this yearning when He asked Adam and Eve, ‘Where are you?’ ” The thought of a Holy God longing for a sinful man brought tears to my eyes. I knew this verse by heart but didn’t read God’s yearnings between the lines. Jesus’ voice broke as tears slid down His face. He wept with me as He said, “I’m the lamb that was slain before the foundation of the world, God’s only provision to bridge man back to God. My work is finished. But, the Father’s chief concern has always been to establish a dwelling place with man. “Remember, after God delivered His people from slavery in Egypt, before traveling through the wilderness, He spoke to Moses, saying: “ ‘On the first day of the first month, you shall set up the tabernacle of the tent of meeting,’ (Exodus 40:1). “God wanted to encamp with the Israelites. He met up with Moses at the tent of meeting, then Moses delivered His Word to the people. God ensured that His people were guided, guarded, and physically close to Him. Imagine, during the day, God led the Israelites as a pillar of cloud so His people would be protected not only from sunburn but from enemies. At night, God manifested as a pillar of fire to provide light and direction. What miraculous provisions God gave His people when He was in their midst. And this can be true today if I abide in you and you in me. You will bear much fruit and be a light in this dark world.” I was awed as I imagined witnessing a significant population of people traveling headed by a pillar of cloud or fire. Regardless, I managed to ask another question, tongue in cheek. “But that was during the wilderness march, which may no longer be relevant today, right?” Jesus replied, “Your world today is no different from the wilderness then. If anything, it’s more dangerous. You desperately need my lead, not as a pillar of cloud or fire, but through my voice speaking in your heart. If you give me your whole heart, my desires will be yours, and my will, your resolve. You’ll look more and more like me. But first, let’s drive out the monsters of bitterness, critical attitude, pride, and the ogre that wants to control everything. This is the first step to making your heart my dwelling place.” So I finally said, “Amen.”  At the beginning of 2022, let’s listen to what God has been telling us and known about us. Surrendering to His absolute control will result in a new focus and a new set of priorities. We can’t really plan for ourselves during these uncertain times. Let’s face it, you woke up to the same world of 2021 last New Year’s Day. Same pandemic. Same fears. Same confusion. Same distractions. Same baggage carried over in 2022. Jesus warned us that we’ll continue to face difficulties in this world and is asking us to live in it trusting Him.
But we first need to make room for Jesus in our hearts. Would you let Him?
12/18/2021
Christmas Blues Christmas carols, chilly breeze infused with the fragrance of pine trees, hustle for gift-buying and grocery shopping, hot chocolate, festive lights, and decorations… It’s beginning to look, smell, and taste like Christmas! It’s the happiest day of the year, but for so many, it’s also the loneliest. This is the season of excitement and anxiety, anticipation and fear, festivities and the blues. This time of the year evokes nostalgia from different stages of my life. Christmas in my early years As a child, “Noche Buena” was the highlight of my Christmas. “Noche Buena,” a Filipino tradition for Christmas feasting, begins on the 25th at the strike of twelve. In our household, the madness of banquet preparations kept us alert and energized. Our kitchen was transformed into a circus. My brothers’ faces, covered with whip cream, teased and cajoled, arm wrestled, and engaged in food fights. My poor mother switched from chef to sheriff, as she commanded her five sous chefs into order. Then came the most anticipated gift-giving ritual. Each person gives something to everyone, but the giver makes it almost impossible for the recipient to get the gift. For example, the gift could be hidden in the dog house or in a rathole somewhere, so one needs to follow a map to find it. The effort put into tracking down a gift was way more than its cost. But harmless trickery was the name of the game. It was always an all-nighter filled with laughter and uproar. At the break of dawn, we’d join the neighborhood kids to play at the park. As a young adult, Christmas was mostly spent with a special someone. When there was no one special, the lonely ones banded together to provide a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. At the same time, we drank ourselves to numbness until the holiday was over.  Christmas as a mother The Holiday season is one of the biggest reasons I wanted more than two children. Although my family practiced the same traditions, it wasn’t as rowdy as it used to be. But since our children are DNA upgrades, they perfected the gift of pranking. We built memories for the books – or rather for social media. Woe to the next generations of Christmas pranksters and their victims! It was during the holiday season when we migrated to America. My husband, our kids, and I didn’t feel the Christmas spirit at all. In the Philippines, we were used to loud music, fireworks, street dancing, and homes open to everyone for feasting. We couldn’t believe that people slept through Christmas eve and the neighborhood was quiet. Throughout Christmas day, we felt so homesick we didn’t even realize that we had each other. Christmas in our empty nest This year, my husband and I may spend Christmas without our kids. While we’re happy our children are where they’d want to be, our empty house makes my soul vulnerable to Christmas lament. Putting up a Christmas tree and decorations would be tedious. We’ll probably share a simple dinner, read Bible verses, sing praises, and recall Christmas memories. We could do a group Facetime call when everyone is available. Then we would tell silly stories to one another, only this time virtually. Countless individuals go through Christmas blues. In the past, it was usually because they missed loved ones or they were homesick. Recently, the pandemic compounded the blues and upended all celebrations. Countless individuals are either withdrawn, unable to go out, or afraid to mingle with people. There is a growing starvation for the human touch and the sense of community. The lonely situation, intensified by this so-called “new normal,” will not change anytime soon. But we can reshape the way we look at it. Our lonely space is an opportunity to commune with our Lord. Because He himself is a man of sorrows, He is waiting for us to share ours. As Isaiah describes: He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. Surely He has borne our griefs And carried our sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken, Smitten by God, and afflicted. (Isaiah 53:3-4 NKJV) The lonely space in our hearts where we can be honest and intimate with our Lord is the same place we can draw our strength. It’s not just for the holidays, but for every day. We may not realize it, but loneliness is a resident in our hearts, buried in work, busyness, and our regular routine, and uncovered at Christmas.  Blaise Pascal said:
“There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of each man which cannot be satisfied by any created thing but only by God the Creator, made known through Jesus Christ.” How timely it is to reflect on our nature as a relational being who needs to belong to a family and community in a place they can call home. Could it be that only Jesus, whose birth we celebrate, can satisfy this mysterious longing or sadness in our hearts? Could Christmas be pointing to an eternal home where the family will never be separated by time, distance, or death?  I remember, just about the same time last year, I couldn't wait for 2020 to be over. Being a blind person who compensates for lost vision through touch, I felt like I'd lose out in a "touchless society." Nevertheless, I embraced the "new normal” conditionally, with absolute hope that 2021 would reset the world back to the old way of life. It didn't. In fact, from my perspective, 2021 has been more terrifying than 2020. A touchless society was here to stay. The virus caught my family. I had knee surgery, some close relationships were severed, my beloved bulldog passed, and lots more. Advent finds me entangled in confusion. A period for reflecting on the first and second coming of Christ, Out of the four messages of Advent: hope, peace, love and joy, hope is the first and the most vital, because without it the other three would be nearly impossible. But what hope? Is hope a message only for Christmas cards? Losing Sight of Hope Hope is the desire for something better and is usually associated with our vision of the future. But in 2020, we lost our 20/20 vision, in a figurative sense. It's difficult to hope for a future one can't envision. And, as 2022 seems more volatile, uncertain, and atypical, hope continually diminishes. Jeremiah's words during the darkest times of Israel are applicable to our desperate world today. But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: GOD's loyal love couldn't have run out. His merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! (Lamentations 3:22-23 MSG)  A Hopeful Way to Live is a Day at a Time. Had I known in 2020 the events I'd go through in 2021, I'd probably take the year off in despair. But I showed up every day not knowing what would come at me, and, as the sun set with a setback, it rose with the hope that set me back in stride. Navigating through the challenges, I appreciate being in the dark with a ray of hope, rather than being in the light of knowledge slowly slipping into the darkness of despair. After all, we won't need hope if everything we hope for is realized. As Paul says: For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? (Romans 8:24 NKJV)  2021 was bleak, and 2022 may even be worse. But light is brightest when it's darkest. Remember how the wise men were guided to the child Jesus by a star? It had to be dark for them to follow the starlight. But today, we no longer need the star. The embodiment of hope, Jesus, whose birthday we celebrate on Christmas day has been born! He is Emmanuel, God with us, and He lives in our hearts.
The message of hope is not only for Christmas cards, it’s for us to carve in our hearts. It’s not an empty promise used to keep up Christmas traditions. Hope is found in the person of our Lord Jesus who is trust-worthy. So even if we walk through the valley of the shadows of COVID, of wars, and of unrest, we shouldn't be afraid, for God is with us, Emmanuel, leading and guiding us. This season, focus on Emmanuel to rekindle hope then share it with others.  If life were your favorite chocolate bar and you're down to a fourth of it, would you look back and savor the part of the bar now gone? Or would you continue eating the remaining in anticipation? Would you wonder, "What if I had a different chocolate bar?" I'm down to the final quarter of my chocolate and I'm not sure if my grey hairs could represent maturity, not just age. Reflecting on my upcoming birthday, I wrestled through "what if" questions to validate what wisdom I've acquired. What if I weren't born legally blind? I would have a head so swollen I'd need a thicker neck to handle it. Life would revolve around make-up, pretty clothes, and my many followers on Instagram. I'd think Carly Simon's song "You're So Vain" is about me. Bad hair days would sink me into depression. I would drive, fly a plane, scuba dive, but I wouldn't have the courage to search my soul. And why would I forgive the friend who thought a random lady was prettier? I'd be so full of myself, feel self-righteous; I wouldn't need God for anything. But I'd probably be the most miserable person, always waiting for "happy hour" to salvage a few moments of glee. You know what? Knowing my excessiveness, I'd probably be dead by now! Today, although still physically blind, I'm blessed to be alive. The Lord had opened the eyes of my heart to perceive things that really matter – primarily my need for Him, and my need for others.  What if I didn't have children? I'd probably rescue 20 dogs from the shelter to fulfill my nurturing nature. The puppies would take over my bed, and I'd end up sleeping on the floor. One consolation: I'd be so skinny because I'd portion my meals to my pets begging for food. Indeed dogs are cute, but I'd be suicidal if people say my grand puppies look like me. The opposite is true with my children. I giggle when people say my kids are like me. My heart flutters when I hear stories about them or praise for their achievements, talents, behavior, or silliness. I haven't outgrown my role as a stage mother. I've even replaced the proverbial umbilical cord with technology connectedness. In fact, always aiming for a better connection with my children justifies my need for the iPhone 13. When not with them during events or vacation, I suffer from FOMOーfear of missing out. My children are now grown and I should focus more on myself during the last quarter of my chocolate bar. Yet, my heart and mind still hover over them, like the helicopter mother I've always been. I feel that nurturing one child is equivalent to 20 puppies, perhaps more, for only death graduates a woman from the school of motherhood. It is a life calling and her children the matchless reward.  What if I didn't marry Silver? No, I wouldn't have 20 boyfriends at one time! I'd be hopping from one relationship to another in search of a Silver lining. Silver is my "eyes," and I see the world through his. What other man would be coerced to put on my make-up, describe sceneries and gifs, or drag a blind woman clinging onto his arm as he walks towards a destination? I'm grateful to the Divine for growing two perfectly imperfect individuals—different as north and south—into one whole. What if I had more time to write this post? I'd probably run through a hundred more "what if's" for such questions are unending. I'd get stuck figuring out answers and end up transforming reality into dreams instead of the other way around. I'll never be sure I have the correct answers. Yet, from my deep dive into my past, I've collected pearls of gratitude for my life. I wouldn't live life any other way, knowing that my Heavenly Father allows things to happen for His sovereign purpose. I couldn't even imagine a life without God. Paul says, And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28 NKJV) In hindsight and foresight, I realize that our Heavenly Daddy knows how my heart's trials, victories, mistakes, and longings will blend into mixtures of nuts, fruits, caramel, and sea salt to make my chocolate bar gourmet quality. And, with every bite comes a glass of water; that is the privilege to thank Him for not giving me what I think is good for me, but instead what He knows is best. God gave us a chocolate bar. Our task is to savor and enjoy it to the last bite. Don't worry about the calories and savor the richness! Share some of your "What if" questions and how you digest them. What are some things that you thought were good, but God had something better planned for you?  ...that is the privilege to thank Him for not giving me what I think is good for me, but instead what He knows is best.
11/29/2021
Does God Care? After Black Friday, I stepped on my talking weighing scale, and her voice taunted as she announced the dreaded news. I racked up pounds the same way I loaded my plate during Thanksgiving meals. It will be Christmas and New Year's day in less than a month. Meaning, I might acquire the snowman's shape after the holidays. We all expect to gain weight over the holidays in our blessed country and plan on dropping them after the season. But the dynamics changed in the so-called "new normal." What do you do when the food you stock up on holds you hostage during the lockdown? When regular walks to the parks and gym sessions are replaced by virtual activities? It was midyear when I realized that the drier didn't shrink my clothes. Instead, I gained twenty-plus pounds. I set a small goal of dropping five pounds each month so that it would be achievable. The first months were successful until my weight plateaued. I tried eating a balanced diet, exercising harder, skipping meals, but nothing worked. For a season, I've been prepping grilled chicken and spinach meals. A saying goes, "You become what you eat." Grilled chicken had been my staple for so long that I once dreamt I'd grown feathers. On one occasion, while mechanically chewing spinach leaves, a graphic picture of me with horns, walking on all fours and bleating like a sheep etched itself on my mind. "Is it really too hard to lose weight?" my mind despaired. "Not unless you're a glutton," my soul retorted. Or was that the devil's voice? "That does it," I cried and consulted two close friends who bragged about dropping fifteen pounds through intermittent fasting."  Intermittent fasting, rather starvation, did work. After all, the Bible says, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst." But after a no-holds-barred vacation at my brother's, which highlighted an endless buffet of food and gossip, I gained twice the pounds I lost. I was back to square one. I looked up experts’ advice. Professionals say my age has slowed my metabolism down. Or I need to eat according to my blood type. Or this diet is better than whatever I'm doing. As a matter of fact, after trying almost everything out there, only my wallet got skinny!
At the brink of despair, I finally brought my concern to the Lord. Isn't it funny how even the most aged Christians (counting years, not maturity) treat prayer as a last resort? We usually take a problem to God when all things fail. He's like that lifeline friend we call on game shows. Why do we look to God as a desperate remedy instead of our ever-present help? Because we don't treat God like Father. We call Him Heavenly Father, but we forget God cares so much that He even knows the number of hairs on our heads. If we believe in our hearts that He deeply cares, we will go to Him for everything and anything. As a kid, I asked Dad to help look for the pen I misplaced or why my puppy wasn't eating – I'd ask about everything that could be insignificant to adults. And, my earthly father didn't mind helping and giving advice. In the gospels, Jesus says: "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God." I don't act like a child of the Kingdom when I presume God should not be troubled about my plateauing weight or socks I couldn't pair because He's fixing global issues like the Afghanistan war and the pandemic. I turned to experts and friends before I consulted God. I've forgotten what it’s like to have a father who cares. Most of the time, we relate to God like a boss rather than as a father. We're aware of God's attributes and characteristics in the same way we know our boss' resume. We generally go to our boss only for work-related concerns. On the other hand, when we’ve developed an intimate relationship with our authority, we can enjoy a casual conversation about how the sweet potato we had for breakfast is causing bottom burps or discuss other personal issues. Christians lose sight of knowing and enjoying an intimate relationship with God. We feel obliged to read the Bible, pray, go to church, and we succeed at looking like a Christian, but not becoming a child of God. What we do to achieve maturity eventually becomes routine, or sometimes, a burden. Thus, we end up working for our salvation instead of receiving grace and trusting Him. Today marks the beginning of advent, a time for recollecting the first Christmas, resting on our Lord's promises, and preparing for His second coming. Two thousand years ago, God sent His Son so we can not only be reconciled to the Father, but be His children. No formula or checklist could transform our hearts from being spiritual orphans to children of God. A good start would be to meditate on what marvelous love the Father has extended to us that we're called children of God! Are we getting to know Him as Father? Are there any blessings our Heavenly Daddy wouldn't gladly and freely give us since He didn't spare His only son? What are some seemingly insignificant troubles you don’t normally turn to God for that He would love you to trust him with?
11/21/2021
The Secret to Peace and Joy"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:6-7 NKJV  Restless sleep, stress eating, tension, weariness, existential crisis: These past two years, people everywhere, young or old, are experiencing these symptoms.. It’s called anxiety, the general and safe diagnosis for the troubled soul. Unlike the past, vacations and retreats aren’t enough to restore and sustain a sense of peace anymore. I believe anxiety is the covert pandemic – the unnamed and insidious rider on the coattails of modernization and the killer of our hearts. Anything that disturbs the heart affects our being. This is why Solomon said, Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23 ESV) The problem of the heart is the heart of the problem. As I reflect on the upcoming Thanksgiving season, I began to understand why an attitude of gratitude is God’s will in our prayers and petitions. Gratitude is the mother of all virtues and the heart is the fountain from which all issues of life spring. If the heart is pregnant with gratitude, one day, it will birth peace and joy. The children of gratitude go hand in hand as most siblings do. Peace is the guardian of the heart and joy, the sustainer. It’s not really a secret. Having a grateful heart leads to peace and joy. Why did this truth elude my focus? Because I used to be holier than thou in terms of being thankful. Then these verses, like a mirror, showed I have a very low TQ or “thankfulness quotient.” Consider my state of heart in these situations. A few days ago, the funeral home called to inform us that Maxi, our bulldog who recently passed, was ready to come home. I felt offended knowing that they were referring to Maxi’s ashes, not the dog. Later that day, my husband handed the plaster mold with his paw print. I burst into tears. The offense turned into bitterness. I questioned God, “Why did you give Maxi if you’re taking him anyway?” Then my mind flashed scenes of Maxi and me together. Every day with Maxi: playing, sunbathing, sleeping. Maxi dappled the past three years with silliness, wackiness, stubbornness, and affection. Those three years would have been colorless without him. The precious memories tilted my frowning lips into a smile until I breathed a prayer,  Meditating on the verses in Philippians and looking at other Bible translations, I grasped how prayers with thanksgiving will shift one’s focus from worries to the person of Christ, the embodiment of peace. It’s not what we lost or didn’t have that makes us anxious. It’s those things we do have or have been given that we’re not thankful for. Jesus Himself nurtured a grateful heart. In the gospels, notice how our Lord, before He performed a miracle, mostly thanked the Father first in His prayers. Look up the feeding of the five thousand, the four thousand, and how Jesus called dead Lazarus to life. A thankful heart could well be the secret to miracles! Imagine how things would change in my life.
As a person who’s blind using a screen reader, I have a lot of system issues at work. My typical reaction? You guessed it. I complain, grumble, and even loathe work. Suppose I were thankful to the Lord for the opportunity to work from home for one of the top twenty Fortune 500 companies. In that case, I’d look forward to every workday. Instead, I work for the weekend, counting down days as they get closer to my time off. If my mother were alive, she’d remind me of the millions of people who didn’t have a job and those who had to toil under the sun for a minimum wage. And here I am, feeling entitled like a brat. Whenever my alarm rings, I start whining about not having enough time to sleep. If I were thankful for another day that I’m alive, I’d spring on my feet and praise God for His mercies for a new day. At mealtimes, I often crave “fresh lumpia” (eggrolls), “palabok” (a Filipino noodle dish), or “lechon kawali” (fried pork belly), instead of what is on the dining table. Take note, this happens even after we’ve prayed for the food. Often, saying grace before a meal is merely a habit instead of a heartfelt prayer of thanksgiving. I’m like the Israelites complaining about mana in the desert. I would have been one of those killed for being ungrateful. As Thanksgiving sets off the holiday season, let’s put Philippians 4:6-7 to the test. If we begin every petition by praising God for what we have, not only will we not be anxious, but we’ll also be blessed with the peace and joy God promises. Who knows, that negative comment you receive on social media won’t cause anxiety because you’re thankful for who you are, not comparing yourself to others. ` Let’s be thankful together and share our victories to increase our TQ (thankfulness quotient).
11/14/2021
Will this Variant kill us?"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the First and the Last. Revelation 22:13 NKJV  COVID-19 got my entire family early this year. Thank God we all made it alive, and as of today, feeling restored. We're grateful that our experience wasn't as horrible as we thought and that we can make light of our stories. During that time, we couldn't taste or smell. Once, my daughter and I argued whether we were eating "Adobo" or "Sinigang", two famous Filipino dishes with drastically distinct flavors, only to find out it was Filipino pork stew. We called steam-inhalation therapy sessions, a ghost conference; five people with white towels pulled over their heads sit around the dining table. We ran contests for who sneezed the most or who piled up the most tissue with snot. Our house was decorated with boxes of tissue, hand sanitizers, masks, and orange peels. In the end, our Covid-19 episode confirmed that laughter is the best medicine. But, don't be mistaken, we don't want to go through it again. So, I freaked out when I heard about Delta a few months later, imagining it might get us good this time. Then my sister in the Philippines called. "What, there's a Lambda Covid variant now!" I reacted to her news. Who thought this virus would run the course of the Greek alphabet? My sister wasn’t quite in remission after her cancer treatment, and her immunity was compromised. With all her symptoms, she might have been COVID positive, possibly with the Lambda. Helpless, I ended the facetime call. Variants of negatively charged emotions clumped in my heart ready to explode like an atomic bomb. I feared for my sister; well, honestly, I feared primarily for my family and myself. Initially, I thought the world population would be subject to the survival of the fittest, but COVID-19 casualties had included some of the healthiest individuals I knew. Is it just a numbers game? A squid game perhaps? Would we be all dead when the Omega variant comes? That is if natural disasters don't get us first? As a Christian, I'm not afraid to die. I know my destination is heaven. But I also don't want to pass away anytime soon, and I'd like to play with my grandbabies someday, if possible. Well, almost two years have passed since COVID-19 changed humanity’s landscape of “wellbeing” and the definition of “normalcy.” Two years could be enough time to be conversational in a new language, read about twenty-four books, or finish projects. But our COVID-19 story took a plot twist. After Covid-19 ravished the world with millions of deaths, permanent disabilities, and diminishing global economic circumstances, vaccines are finally developed. We hoped vaccines would put an end to the plague, but its effectiveness or consequence is just a new research area and another discussion point in social media. After taking the vaccine, many stay well, some became dysfunctional, and others have died. Meanwhile, the rest are sitting on the fence, waiting for more reliable information. Unfortunately, there's no clear answer to how we can be protected from COVID-19, its Variants, and the vaccines. To stay locked down or to open, to mask or not to mask, to get vaccinated or not… What vaccine is best? Whose advice do we take? Even Christian leaders are divided by opposing views. If no one knows the truth about the virus, its origin, and its transmission, then no one can be sure how to be safe. The anxiety from uncertainty over this life-threatening condition is a killer more potent than the virus itself. If we succumb to this fear, we will lose the battle. It's dishonorable to die without fighting. So the best immunity against this fear is to take heart. No wonder God's first words to His people when He appears in times of trouble is, "Fear not." Today, more than ever, we need to be aware that God is our ever-present help. As a young girl, I was into reading suspense and mystery books. When I was at the climax and couldn't contain the excitement, I'd turn to the book's final chapter to read the ending. The habit may be a spoiler alert, but it's a perfect solution to the anxiety that Christians suffer during troubling times. The last book of the Bible reminds us of how this story will end. Jesus speaks "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the First and the Last. Revelation 22:13 COVID-19, its Greek alphabet variants, and the vaccines can’t stand up to the Creator, Healer, Redeemer, Savior, and Lord of all. Sickness may kill our physical bodies, but one day our Lord will defeat death -- the final enemy. I believe God is using this pandemic to shift our focus from the confusion and chaos of this temporal world to the peace and perfection of our heavenly home. Let's turn to our Lord's truth and promise. So whenever you fear the havoc of COVID-19, declare the Greek alphabet of who Jesus is; the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end. What are your Covid-19 experiences?
Share how you are overcoming your fear of the pandemic and the vaccines. How has God used this evil for good? |
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